The Train To Goodbye
by reginassthief
Summary: Prompt by Clare: 'After everything I did for you? You're just going to walk away like I never existed' Probably not what she was going for when she sent me this but I try. Set in the Secrets of War universe: Regina says goodbye to Robin at the train station. Outlaw Queen.


**"After everything I did for you? You're just going to walk away like I never existed?"**

Her hand is clutched over Henry's arm, holding tightly so not to lose him in the crowd beginning to form.

She's been dreading this day.

It's been there, in the back of her mind, from the day Henry found him and together they carried him, a broken, wounded, English soldier in a German city, up the hill.

She knew this day would eventually come.

Their walk to the train station was silent. Regina had taken the lead, Henry next to her, sulking, kicking his ball every few steps. Robin trailed behind them, his weight leaning against the walking stick as he followed, having no idea of this path, only knowing where it was leading them to.

She'd got the train once. Once in all forty-four years old her life. When Daniel had blindly guided her to this very train station. She'd been puzzled when the train pulled up and he'd began urging her to board. It wasn't until they'd found a compartment of their own, smiling bemused, she asked him where they were going.

 _Berlin_ , he had answered and Regina's smile had faded, an uneasiness forming inside her.

 _It is safe?_ The war may be over yet Regina wasn't sure if travelling was even safe.

 _It is, I promise_ , Daniel had reassured her, shifting closer as a hand fell over the swell of her stomach.

She can remember it being one of the best trips she'd ever been on, never wanting it to end, until the end of their week approached. It had been in Berlin she'd lost that baby. Doctors telling her that there was no real reason for it, _Unfortunates happen_ , they'd told her. Her baby was buried in Berlin. In a graveyard that's unknown to her, in a city she can never reach.

"Does he have to go?"

They both turn to Henry who, just like Regina and Robin, had been quiet for most of the morning.

She could see the look in his eyes, the hopefulness that perhaps Robin didn't have to go after all, that they could find some way around it, but that wasn't possible.

"I have my own child to get back to, Henry." Robin says and when Regina turns, she can see the pain in his eyes. It's been six years. Six years he's spent with Regina and Henry. They've survived rationings, visits from the Nazis, imprisonment, a war itself. For six years, this has been his family; Henry had been his son and Regina...

Right now, Regina doesn't know what she was to Robin. A friend? A place to stay? Something to keep him warm at night?

He thought she was asleep when he first whispered the words. Basking in the afterglow and a candle-lit corner of a kitchen that made her up bedroom, the words; _Ich liebe dich_ had been murmured against her hair.

 _I love you_ , he'd said and she'd believed it, went to sleep and spent every day after believing it.

Was it true?

"Will you come back?"

He sounds like that ten year old all over again, and for a moment Regina wishes they could go back to that first day when he came running up the hill screaming _Mama_ and roping her into helping this stranger.

"I don't know, Henry." Robin answers and it's the truth, isn't it? Who knows if they'll ever see each other again.

Henry would have pouted had he actually been a ten year old, maybe ran off to a corner to sulk but this time he nods, understanding, accepting that he has to leave.

At least someone does.

"Henry, give us a moment." Regina asks and Henry looks between his mother and his father figure before looking around and spotting a dog tied to a bench, walking off to pet it.

The two of them watch him go and only when she knows what he's out of earshot does she hear Robin speak.

"We knew this would happen."

Regina nods, she did and she thought she'd accepted that fact years ago. Clearly she hasn't.

"How old would- _is_ \- he?" Regina asks.

"He'd be ten." There's surprise to his voice, like he's shocked that his son could be that old already.

"The same age when you met Henry."

She lets that sink in. It'd be the perfect ending, wouldn't it? If she was accompanying him back to England, he'd have met her son when he was ten and she'd be meeting his at the same age.

"Roland..." she says softly. She wonders what he looks like. Is he the image of Robin, or is he more like his unknown mother? Or is he like Henry, does he have physical qualities of both parents? She guesses she'll never know.

"It is strange I just have this image of a 4 year old in my head?" he asks and Regina shakes her head.

"Of course it's not," she says and then she sighs. "How did you do it? How did you get through six years without him?"

He shrugs. "Sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I wanted desperately to go home, find where he was and just live in some far corner of the world, away from it all."

She can understand that. Understand the urge to take your child somewhere other than here, where they can grow up and not have to worry about their future, or possible lack of.

"You and Henry helped, though." he says. "I'd probably have cracked if it weren't for you two."

They look towards Henry, then, watch him playing with the tied up dog. She knows he misses Hope; the dog that saved his life all those years ago. Maybe they'll be able to get another dog, maybe Henry will like that, maybe it'll help them both deal with Robin's departure.

"I don't want you to go."

They're nearly whispered, the words. She's stopped herself from saying them all day. Stopped herself from saying them for six years. And now, as they tumble out of her mouth like empty insults and meaningful I love yous, she can't help but let her head fall in shame, unable to meet his eye.

For the first time that morning, he reaches for her, hands now grasping her own now she's no longer holding onto Henry, as more crowds of people begin gathering onto the platform. The trains approaching...only a few more minutes to go. It'll be packed and she'll lose him in the sea of people. She doesn't want to lose him...

That thought alone has her own hand lacing into his.

"I don't want to go, either."

She looks up at him, his face millimetres from hers as she stares into his eyes. She can see the sincerity but also the confliction. He wants to leave, to see his son, but he wants to stay.

It would be easier if she could go with him, just grab Henry and board that train. But she's paperless and passport-less. She'd make it to the airport and wouldn't be able to go any further. This is it for them. This is where they end. A dusty old train station with millions of people surrounding them. This is it.

She wants to tell him to stay, the words on the tip of her tongue, but she knows that's selfish. Selfish towards the little boy back home who just wants his papa back. So she swallows them down and tells him, "But you have to."

She looks away as tears begin gathering in her eyes. Uses her free hand to wipe them away as she laughs a little, lets out a _I'm sorry_ as the sound of the train makes its way down the track. This is happening.

The people around them begin to get ready, the chatter growing louder. She should probably check on Henry, make sure he's still there with the dog annd not been kidnapped or something yet as she goes to turn, Robin's hand falls onto her cheek, lifting up her head as he stares and doesn't waver, his thumb stroking cheekbone and she closes her eyes and falls into his touch, savours it for the last time.

He's still staring when she reopens them. Blinking and asking _What?_ as that dreaded train approaches closer.

"I just want to memorise you."

If a person could explode, this would be her moment.

"You've had six years to memorise me." she says and it was suppose to be a joke, something to lighten the mood, perhaps halt the inevitable for just a moment.

"Then I obviously haven't been paying attention." He crashes his lips against her then, hand moving from her cheek to her hair, holding him against her. She shuts her eyes, forcing herself to stay in this moment, to not think about the people probably giving them scandalous looks, or the train that's seconds away from the platform. She just focuses on feeling his lips against her, his tongue tracing the seam of lips.

She's the one to break the kiss. The train is right beside them. This is it. He'll board that train and that'll be it. Yet as she pulls away, his forehead falls against hers and they need to get moving, otherwise the train will leave and I'll miss his chance at seeing his son. His son will miss the chance to see his father.

"You need to go." she tells him, each word painful and tight, forcing them out.

"I love you."

He's said those words to her a thousand times in the last six years and none of them have affected her as much as they do now, not even the first time he whispered them. They have those tears she wiped away only moments ago coming back, blurring her vision as she wants to grasp hold of him and never let go.

"Mom?"

Regina nods, knows it's time, and pulls away. Henry's standing near her, that dog he was playing with has probably boarded the train now. Robin needs to board the train.

They let go of each other and Robin glances towards the train. He reaches for his bag on the ground, the bag that holds the last six years of his life inside.

Before he boards he takes a look towards Henry. He's no longer that small ten year old boy. He's grown now, went through a war and lived to tell the tale, over towers Regina when she doesn't have heels on. Yet seeing him now, the way it only takes Robin opening his arms and Henry willingly going towards him, is she once again reminded of that ten year old boy that finally found a father figure- found a _father_.

They pull away as the conductor blows his whistle and they've got no choice now but to let Robin board.

She watches, her hand reaching for Henry's, as Robin climbs up the steps, his leg still an issue as it was all those years ago.

A final blow of the whistle and the train's pulling out just as Robin seats himself. One last glance at the man who changed their oridinary lives as they risked their own to keep him alive.

They're left alone on the platform, no other soul in sight, as the train rounds the corner and through tears that silently fall, the words, _Ich liebe dich_ , are lost within the wind and the last chugging noise of the train. Left to fly freely, with no reply back.


End file.
